The Accumulator's Apprentice

by Lee A. Hart

Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, incredible
Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, it's wonderful
Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, the attic's full

Closets, garages, and basements are all full of...

Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, a teletype
Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, an organ pipe
Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, a Norden sight

Somebody paid a grand; I paid a dollar for...

Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, a PC clone
Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, got more at home
Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, a piece is gone

I know I've got it, but what did I do with it?

Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, it was the means
Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, now it's the end
Junk, 'n junk, n' junk, how do I stop?

Piled high, mountains of junk are everywhere.
All of my time, and all of my money are buried in...

JUNK, 'N JUNK, N' JUNK, it's never through
JUNK, 'N JUNK, N' JUNK, what will I do?
JUNK, 'N JUNK, N' JUNK...

How will it end ???

THROW IT ALL OUT !!!

My friend Herb Johnson sent me a note around Halloween in 1996 on his various surplus bargains (?) titled "Grot, grot, grot, grot" (British slang for stuff that's almost but not quite junk). That prompted my twisted brain to devise these words for "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" music by Paul Dukas (used in the Mickey Mouse Sorcerer's Apprentice segment in the movie "Fantasia").

Hey, this is better than my first thought. Imagine the Monty Python Spam skit set in a dingy warehouse, with a couple talking to the clerk. The husband says, "Got any good grot?" and the staff start singing "Grot, grot, grot, grot, lovely grot, wonderful grot, grot, grot, grot..." as the wife keeps yelling, "Stop! I hate grot! Shut up!"

Lee A. Hart